Never gonna be a pharmacist
So, here it is folks, my dreams crashing down around my feet. First of all, I never expected to get into U of T due to the fact that they're snobs and my average isn't a bazillion percent. So, my only hope was UBC. Until a few days ago that is... Turns out, UBC handed out 35 more acceptance letters than they actually had room for last year (which makes me worry about education from a facility that can't even count, but that's another story) and they are obligated, for whatever reason, to automatically accept those individuals into the program this year. Ergo, there are 35 less spots available for this year's applicants, leaving 90 spots for over 1000 applicants. My odds of getting into UBC are now 90/1000 = 9%, while my odds of getting into U of T remain 240/2200 = 10.9%. Keeping in mind that I never expected to get into U of T and given that my chances of getting into UBC are now even lower than my chances for U of T, I now have no chance of getting into either university. Maybe I should take up folk music, go to beauty school, grow marijuana, or sell my body to dirty old men who reek of BO and hard liquour.
Given the current circumstances, I'm depressed and urge you all to post your favourite jokes in response to my woeful tale.
posted by Sarah @ 8:30 PM
11 Comments:
That's pretty fucking stupid about UBC, dude... but don't lose hope. a 9% acceptance rate isn't that bad - I think you're easily more qualified than 90% of the other applicants (I truly mean this), and I think if you get an interview you're in for sure. My chances are also slim, but I'm very confident in my abilities (and yours) and I know we're the people they're looking for, and I think that will come across in the UTPAT/an interview. Try your best, and if you don't get in, so what? If it's really what you want to do, you'll reapply until you get in. I'll reapply until I'm fucking 40 years old if that's what it takes.
Hang in there, you'll be fine.
Here's a derogatory joke for you nonetheless:
A Newfie, a Dutchman and an African American are all at the hospital because their wives are giving birth.
A nurse comes out of the nursery and says to the men: "I'm afraid there's been a bit of confusion, and we've mixed up your babies. We don't know who belongs to who. We would like you to come in and choose the child you believe is yours."
The Newfie enters the nursery first, and a few moments later emerges with a clearly African American child. The A/A man sees this and exclaims: "What do you think you're doing? That is obviously my child!"
The Newfie shrugs and says: "I know, but.... I didn't want to take a chance and end up with the Dutch one."
Ok, it's really not that funny, but the fungi joke is getting old. Hope it helps!
I can't say much to the same effect as Sarah, but I can say that it took my sister a long time to find her perfect job (which she just found last week). She had to go through a lot of crap, but kept applying to different jobs (retirement homes) and finally was accepted at a great place. This may seem like I'm saying it'll take you a long time to get to where you'll be, but I'm really saying that while things may not go your way at first, you'll be fine. I know that sounds cliche, but I know how determined and smart you are and, as Sarah says, that will get to to where you want to be.
Sorry for the choppiness of my response; I'm still writing my paper and I am le tired.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Hey, UBC wanted to interview you last year, right? That means you had the stuff then and your name may still be kickin' around there. And that was when you were in Ontario, now you're a resident with muchos experiencos who is more driven than just about anyone else I know. You are a contender and if they can't see that, they will be the losers, certainly not you. So don't give up, you don't have a reason to.
And for a joke, I have to admit, I looked this one up, 'cause I never remember them. I think you'll get a kick outta this one:
The Manager of a company has to make a hard choice.
Lay of Jack or Sue.
They are both superb workers, but the companies run into hard times.
The manager decides that whoever drinks from the cooler first will be laid off the following morning.
Sue, who always comes in bright and early, had a horrible hangover from partying to hard last night, and goes to the fountain to drink some water with her advil.
The manager walks up to her, sighs and tells her
"I either have to lay you or Jack off."
Turning to face the Manager, Sue smiles and says
"Please just jack off, my head is killing me."
I had to look mine up as well :)
Thanks guys :) You are seriously the bestest best of the bestest friends anyone could ever ask for. And what's the fungi joke?
Wow was I on crack last night when I posted my message? I was clearly referring to what Amanda said, not what Sarah said...which would have been to herself.
Oh, man, I was waiting for someone else to slam you for that!
No seriously, I'm wondering how the hell that happened. I know I was awake. I do know I was tired. I know I was aware of my typing. What I don't know is what happened between the thought process and my hands typing. :s
you mean I've never told you the fungi joke???
why was the mushrook invited to all the parties?
because he was a fun-gi!
mamamanhahahahahahahahaahahahahaha
hahahaa mushrook!!
(mushroom)
Haha, mushrook ;) He could be the rook in a fungi-themed chess set! (It seemed like genius before I typed it, but I'm going to post it anyway)
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