Some muddy-headed thoughts

Well, I thought I'd stop at two, but I decided I could use a third cosmopolitan, so here I am, good and drunk and figured it was the perfect time to post a message to all you folks. By the way, I make a killer cosmo. Which reminds me that my dad wanted to try a killer kool-aid when we were at Delainey's, which seems funny to me, but I don't know why. I guess because it seems like such a girly drink. Hmm. Anyway, I really don't have anything to update you on, I just miss you guys, so I wanted to talk. I wish it was just a matter of a trip down the hall or a couple flights of stairs, but fiber optics will have to do.

I've listened to Bush's, er, Institute's album a couple more times. I don't know if I'm just biased or what, but it's starting to grow on me. It's nothing spectacular, but really, what is anymore? I think the problem is that Gavin is not angry enough anymore. Frankly, I think that's the downfall of many a band. I see the trend in Pearl Jam (I don't mean that as an insult, Dave). It may be why Rage Against the Machine broke up - the rage was gone. When I'm thinking clearer headed, I can think of many other examples, but the point is, to me, it seems the best music is made about issues that the musicians are just plain pissed about. I know that's not always true, for example, Donovan made lovely music that I don't get an angst vibe from and I just adore it. But the fact is, a lot of the music that I, and many other people, love is all about pain, suffering, and anger. Are musicians more creative when they are wounded, or is it that people want to relate to that more than happiness. Anyway, I digress... so, Institute's album is growing on me, whether I like it or not. I'm not impressed with it, but I'm not completely disappointed, either. I know Gavin can do better, as evident from past work, but it's as if this is his best try for where he is right now in his life. I don't know, maybe I just have a soft spot for him and he can do no wrong in my eyes. I just really wanted him to be amazing and stun the world, which this doesn't, but he doesn't disgust me so that I want to sell the album to a used CD store. But in his mediocreness, I'm still disappointed. So, in short, don't run out and buy his new album, but appreciate that he's still giving it the ol' 1,2 punch. And I agree, Sarah, the band's name just doesn't cut it.

...

I know this forum should be sacred from sad, self-pitying thoughts, but I'm drunk and alone, so that's what you get. I'll try to keep them upbeat. :) As I was making a grilled cheese sandwich (with shredded cheese, because I forgot to buy regular, but I find it tastes just the same) and drinking my first cosmo, I had the thought that this may be what my future holds - getting drunk and making dinner for myself with no one to share the evening with. Don't get me wrong, I love being independent and solitary, in fact, I can't survive without it, but I must say I'm not fond of the whole aloneness thing. It sucks.

So now is the time where the guy from the movie Saw comes and takes me away to a room to test me with a quiz that I may or may not live through, all because I'm not pleased with my life. That movie still creeps me out, and the fact that they are making a sequal creeps me out even further. Deep down, I suppose it's a good message, but jesus, those psychological thrillers get me. Did I just spell psychological right? Dude, I didn't even look it up! Score for me!

I better go check on my kitty, who's out on the screened porch, watching god knows what. My family always worries about her around Halloween, since she's all black. There are crazies out there, you know... Okay, she's okay.

Well, folks, you've done it again. Your memory has helped me make it through another night by myself. I hope you've felt like I was sitting on your bed, saying all this to you, because that's where I really wish I was. It time now, for me to get to my own bed. I hope you all sleep well tonight, and don't worry about me, because I'm drunk and it's a given that I will. Love to you all, even the comment spammers.